Who the f&%k is Josephine!?
I have a problem with my mobile phone. It's nothing to do with my bill, or the embarrassing obsession with using it to check my email and sometimes facebook while I'm out - it has to do with my address book.
As with most other things in my life it's really disorganised. I have nicknames instead of names, I have names with more than one number so I don't know which is the new one, I have multiple names that I can't differentiate, and most of all, I have a bunch of names I don't even know.
My problem is that I'm a fairly social drunk, and a fairly trashy drunk to boot. I collect and hoarde numbers like they are valuable clippings of Tom Selleck's chest hair (which is currently fetching around $102 per clump on ebay). I've recently started doing a couple of things to try and alleviate the problem. I'm saving a brief description of the person after their name, so therefore "Emma from pub" and "Amanda stuck in floor" (don't ask), I can recall easily. I'm also doing a really nerdy thing where I add them on facebook via my mobile. This means I not only have contact with them, but also a photo I can look at later to jog my memory, and a full name if I ever want to steal their identity for fraud. Smart thinking hey!
But before I had this technology or antisocial internerd streak, I of course ended up with numbers, mainly of girls, that I can't remember. I think it's time I let go, but I always worry about if they call me down the track, out of the blue, and then I won't know who it is!
What if it's that hottie I pashed at Heat nightclub circa 2003, that never returned my text because she's with Optus, and only just got it now? What if it's that funny girl from the backpacker bar that I forgot to call? What if that guy "Steve matress guy" that promised me cheap matresses from his cousin's factory has finally got my order?
It's all too hard, but I think it's time to cull. So I'm going through my phone today, and thinking long and hard about each number I don't recall. I've actually got a pretty good memory, which is surprising considering my years of heavy drinking and watching bad reality TV, so after a while, I can usually work out who it is, and where I met them, even if a bit vaguely.
But there's one number I can't work out. One which I'm tempted to call just to satisfy my curiousity. One number that could belong to a supermodel, or a pushy drag queen with an endless supply of rohypnol. It's going to drive me crazy, at least for the next minute it takes for me to post this.
WHO THE FUCK IS JOSEPHINE!?!?
4 comments:
I have this problem too, it's quite the conundrum. I vote for hiding your own number, calling and pretending to be a telemarketer. If she sounds hot, reveal yourself, if she sounds like a drag queen ask for drugs.
Win/win!
gee... i thought yea i'll read his one blog.. which lead to 1000 others. SCAM!!
but yes i feel your pain with tihs mobile number thing. Josephine doesn't sound hot. sounds annoying. no offence. but it's true. **Jim carey voice** 'DE LEE TED!'
I like the idea of pretending to be a telemarketer, except I know nothing about plasmas or widescreen, so I might get found out.
And Josephine does sound hot, in a little old wog lady who cooks tomato sauce kind of way.
I'm Josephine!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Call me... call me.... I'm exactly as you described and possibly wished for in your dreams... a lil old wog lady who cooks tomato sauce!!
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