I'll be boning good (coming home) later.

When my mobile goes dead, or I leave it at home, or my memory's full and I can't receive any messages... IT IS CLEARLY THE END OF THE WORLD.
It's not so much that realistically you're expecting a call or text or anything, it's the fact that if someone wanted to, they couldn't. I mean, today might be the day that Oprah finally returns my calls!

It's the society we live in today, we need constant , and seriously, if I didn't have my mobile today, I'd DIE! Literally.... mine's so advanced these days that it regulates my heartbeat via bluetooth communication with my sinuatrial node.

But the one thing I can live without is predictive text. Well, don't get me wrong, I do love predictive text, and it makes my life so much easier.
Actually I've calculated that with the amount of texts I send on a daily basis, predictive text saves me about 30hours a week from when I didn't have it. Which incidentally is the amount of time I used to spend writing hate SMSs to Judith Lucy. It's really freed up my time.

So predictive isn't all bad, but it is when it guesses the wrong word for you.
You'll be typing a normal text, and thinking you're pretty damn clever because you don't need to look at the screen.. but it comes out all wrong!
It's not that bad when it's common words like "good" and it comes out "home" ... or "of" and it comes out "me" and vice versa. But there are some words that can really shock you and change your message so much! Like for instance how when you type the word "coal" it comes up with "cock" or "anal"! It can completely ruin the context of your SMS. Really embarrassing!
Seriously, I don't think anyone knows how awkward it is when you're typing a text to a girl, and instead of the dirty stuff you meant to write, it comes out with the word "coal" 10 times!

Imagine though, if predictive text wasn't just in mobile phones. Imagine if we as humans had predictive text built into our brains, "predictive speech" if you will. So when we go to speak and say a word, our brain comes up with the first word it thinks we meant to say, based on the letters.

Picture you're at the MCG watching Australia vs India. Instead of the crowd chanting loudly "Aussies Aussies Aussies Oi Oi Oi", it would come out "Curries Curries Curries Oh Oh Oh". Not the meaning thousands dressed in Green and Gold would want to portray.

Even just normal day to day conversation wouldn't be the same. A shopping list like "
Any peas, rare crabs, cake buns and ice cream cones" would translate to "Boy rears, rape Arabs, bald bums and had cream boner."

Again, embarrassing when you're in sexy land.

Now I'm off to watch Big Bro Uplate, or should I say Big Arm Upkate?
Nah, they scrapped Uncut this year.